Martin Scorsese fucked my all of my belief system with Silence (2016)

  

I don't really know how to explain how I feel watching this film but I remembered first time watching it is when I was alone in a darkness room and the voice of Jesus "Step on me" just haunted me for the rest of my life

I'm not a Christian

not for sure that I want to become religious in any situations

mainly because I grew up with a superstitious Buddhist father who always forced our family to follow these traditional rituals so I don't really have much sympathy for the idea of having "a God" within me. 

It was only changed recently since I've struggle a lot with my emotions and everything in my life is simply going downward. I spoke to God several times and he remained Silence, just like how Martin has conveyed in the film. 

I didn't know why Martin decided to named the movie "Silence" until today when I watched the picture one more time and I heard a line of priest Rodrigues:

"I know. But even if God had been silent, my life...to this very day...everything I do...everything I’ve done...speaks of Him. It was in the silence that I heard Your voice."

Therefore, I understand the existence of God is existing in each living person. We do not have to hear his voice but he suffered beside us. He was never silent. The point of having such intense faith is not about having a guidance for what you do in life or having a guardian angel who saves you from hardships but to be acknowledge that we have someone besides us even in such tremendous pain.